What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
