we were pretty classy up until the second keg
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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