Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
