Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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