Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
