apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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