Nicole vs. Life
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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