O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
