It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
