just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
