its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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