watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
