Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
