I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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