drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
