she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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