I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
