Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
