I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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