I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
