do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
