So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
