I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
