let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have fence marks all over my body
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
