waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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