Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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