Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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