I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
