the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Let's paint friendship bongs
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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