I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
