I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
