Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
