I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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