I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm bleeding and have questions
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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