just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
