I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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