I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
