wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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