I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
