Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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