There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
