So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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