He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
