Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
