is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
my liver is dry heaving
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
