he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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