There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this just has baby written all over it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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