I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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