Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
