were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
