11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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