he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
