I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
