You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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