We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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