Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
