This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
