I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
