The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
