Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
