Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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