He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
