Where did you get a picture of my penis
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize