I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Someone signed my nipple.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
