I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So much rum. So many feels.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
