I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
