I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
