Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
