she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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