Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
