It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize