Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
