On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
