There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
