so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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