tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
