hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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