did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They took my balls.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I had to cum in my sink.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
