we made out on top of his cat.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
